my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
