He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
