i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
