i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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