I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
