No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
