i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I need a burrito and a hug.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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