im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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