i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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