evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
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