He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
