I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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