So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
