I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
