Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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