Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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