I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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