Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
how drunk are you?
Several
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
