No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
