You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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