i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
