It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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