I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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