I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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