My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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