i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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