I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
