Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize