brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
