At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
