I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
