girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
