my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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