I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
