problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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