Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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