Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize