I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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