Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
