i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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