Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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