How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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