Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize