just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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