I wish I could teleport
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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