Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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