Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
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I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize