so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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