good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
