So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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