i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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