she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You don't make any sense
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