The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
