We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
