hotel room ftw
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize