and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
