I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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