I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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