I will die if light touches me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I love you.
Bad choice
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