If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
