i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
