He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
